Torn
by CharmedGirl
Summary: Short songfic after episode Forever. B/A ANGST ^^


A/N: My first songfic so go easy. I heard this song and just thought of Buffy and Angel. I love the song and I love B/A (as you can see from my Buffy fics). So review please!  
  
  
Disclaimers: Yeah yeah yeah, don't own anyone, anything.  
Time Frame: I saw the rerun of "Forever" last Friday on FX. Very angsty episode, so I'm going to set it after the episode.  
Song: *just in case you don't know* "Torn" -Natalie Imbruglia  
  
I thought I saw a man, brought to life.  
He was warm, he came around, he was dignified.  
He showed me what it was to cry.  
Well, you couldn't be that man I adore.  
Ya don't seem to know, seem to care, what your heart is for.   
But I don't know him anymore.   
__________________________________________________________________________  
  
  
Tears poured from Buffy's eyes as she hugged her pillow. After everything that she'd been through, why did it still hurt so much seeing him? He was once someone she could love, someone who was her everything. He still was, and always would be. Yet he had changed, in a huge way. He wasn't apart of her life, she wasn't apart of his life. They were totally separate. It hurt so badly that Cordy and Wesley and others that she didn't even know got to be apart of his life and see him everyday while she had to wait for dire situations to see him, and he was gone so soon.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________  
  
There's nothing where he used to lie.   
Conversation has run dry.   
That's what's going on.  
Nothings fine I'm Torn.  
I'm all out of faith.  
This is how I feel.  
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor.  
__________________________________________________________________________  
  
Buffy wiped the tears from her eyes. How could he do this to her? Why did this keep happening? She never learned her lesson, she could never stop loving and hurting over him.  
  
"Buffy." Buffy turned in amazement to the door.  
  
"Angel?" she said, her voice cracking.  
  
"You said you wanted me to stay for forever," he said, shrugging. "Here I am."  
__________________________________________________________________________  
  
Illusion never changed into something real.   
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn.  
You're a little late.   
I'm already torn.  
__________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Oh Angel," Buffy said, tears returning. She reached out and hugged him hard. "She was such a part of my life. How can I do anything without her?"  
  
"You'll manage. You can do anything. You're stronger than anyone," he said.  
  
"I can't do it. This is all my fault. I could have had her back!" she cried. "Dawn, she did a resurrection spell. Mom was at the door. Dawn ended the spell. Mom was gone." Tears poured harder onto Angel's jacket.   
  
"Shhh... it's ok. I'm here now."  
_________________________________________________________________________  
  
So, I guess the fortune tellers right.  
I should of seen just what was there, and not some holy light.  
To crawl beneath my veins and now...  
I don't care, I have no luck.   
I don't miss it all that much.  
_________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Angel don't go," Buffy said.  
  
"I'm here now, I'm not going anywhere," Angel said.  
  
"No." Buffy pulled apart from him. "I mean stay. Here. Forever." Angel sighed.  
  
"You know I can't do that," he said.  
  
"Why not?" she shouted. "What's holding to you L.A.? Please stay."  
  
"Buffy, this always ends badly. We can't do it. I can't stay. I have to go back."  
  
"Angel, please," she said, her voice strained.  
  
"I can't. I shouldn't have come back in the first place." He began to exit her room.  
  
"Please at least stay another day!"  
  
"If I stay another day, I'll never leave." He left, leaving Buffy alone, crying her heart out.  
_________________________________________________________________________  
  
There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn.  
I'm all out of faith. This is how I feel.  
I'm cold and I am shamed.  
Lying naked on the floor.  
Illusion never changed into something real.   
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn.   
You're a little late. I'm already torn, torn.  
_________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Angel," Buffy cried through her sleep. "Angel!" She awoke abruptly and looked for the angelic face she loved. "Angel."  
  
He was the only one that could make her feel better, the only one that could stop her tears. Yet, he could also bring those troublesome tears, and keep them in her heart forever. She sniffed and pulled her hair away from her face, for it had been hanging limply and sticking to her mouth and cheeks. She lay down and stared at the ceiling. He said he loved her, but if he truly loved her, why did he keep leaving? She couldn't let this happen, not again. No. She had made up her mind. Angel was staying.  
_________________________________________________________________________  
  
There's nothing where he used to lie.  
Inspiration has run dry.   
That's what's going on.   
Nothings right, I'm torn.   
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel, I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor.  
_________________________________________________________________________  
  
Buffy sat up and pulled her jacket on.   
  
"I'm going out for a little while!" she called up to Dawn. "I'll be back soon!" She ran down the stairs and out the door.  
  
"Angel! ANGEL!" She shouted, looking for him everywhere. Suddenly she saw a dark figure, a figure she knew well. "Angel!"  
  
"Buffy, what are you doing here?" he asked. "Go home."  
  
"No, I'm not letting you leave."  
  
"Buffy--"  
  
"No, listen. My mother just died and Riley left me. I can't handle you leaving too. I'm still in love with you. Please, I'm torn. I'm falling apart and I feel like everything inside of me is about to fall out. I can't handle this. The only way I can possibly manage if you're here."  
  
"Buffy--"  
  
"Please," she cried. "Please just stay." He cupped her face in his hand and stroked her hair. Then he leaned down and kissed her.  
_________________________________________________________________________  
  
Illusion never changed into something real.   
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn.  
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel,  
I'm cold and I'm ashamed bound and broken on the floor.   
You're a little late,  
I'm already torn, torn.  
_________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Will you stay?" Buffy asked, tear-stained, after the kiss ended. He smiled and kissed her again.  
  
"Forever."  
  
  
A/N: Awww.... ;_; I wasn't expecting that, hehe. I was orginally planning it to be all angst from Buffy. But I can never handle non B/A ending. I'm trying to write a B/S yet I introduced Angel into it. Hehe, I live in the past. Oh well. ^_^ Please review! 


End file.
